theonion:

Reason Man Turning To Religion Later In Life Must Be Horrifying

STROUDSBURG, PA—Saying the middle-aged man had adopted a devout life of piety seemingly out of nowhere, acquaintances of local resident Paul D’Amato reported Friday that the reason he was turning to religion later in life must be completely horrifying. “He just started going to church for the very first time a couple months ago even though he’s 49 years old, and now he wears a cross and everything—boy, you’ve got to think it was something pretty terrible that made him religious at this point,” said coworker Jessica Redmond, who explained that because D’Amato was all of a sudden attending multiple services per week and now often peppers his conversations with mentions of the light that Jesus provides to his life, the cause of his religious awakening was almost certainly “really, really bad.” “The guy’s nearly 50, and now he finds God right out of the blue? I bet it’s something with drugs. Or maybe he killed someone in a car accident. Either way, something super messed up happened to him.” At press time, speculation about D’Amato’s circumstances had grown more rampant after sources confirmed he had volunteered to read a passage from Ephesians about forgiveness and redemption during last week’s services at the local Presbyterian church.

libfas:

“Sharia police” does not break the law, German court rules

The group was arrested late 2014 after patrolling streets wearing orange safety jackets with the words “Sharia Police”, as they confronted locals to not enter dancing clubs and bars as well as telling people that they weren’t allowed to drink, smoke and listen to music. In general, enforcing sharia law.

The district court judged that they broke no laws and will not face prosecution. One specific law they would have broken is aimed at banning uniforms with political meaning, but the court ruled that these specific uniforms were not “suggestively militant or intimidating”.

A surprising conclusion to make, if one considers the fact that the leader of this group is one of the most well-known radicalist preachers in Germany, and is currently on trial in a separate case for terrorism-related offenses.

The extremist had his passport seized after pictures surfaced showing him posing with heavy weaponry in Syria. He is suspected of recruiting and radicalizing Muslims to join ISIS.

x, x, x

Turns out if the right promotes a meme long enough, some enterprising guy will take them up on their rhetoric. Kinda like how the left calls people who haven’t got a university-level intersectional critique of half-assed, structurally transmisogynistic, credentialist, saneist, neurotypicalist, faux intersectionality racists enough and some of them say, ‘fuck it, guess I’ll be a villain then.’ I don’t think that’s a smart response, but if you’re gonna get attacked for something regardless, the political consequences of supporting the thing approach zero.

thewhorepoet:

And the Whole Foods downtown donated sandwiches to feed the cops and National Guard (who were getting paid for being there), while tons of students who relied on their school lunches went hungry.

(Source: daleberan)

Okay, that’s a good one.

(Source: funnyordie)

theonion:

DNC Aiming To Reconnect With Working-Class Americans With New ‘Hamilton’-Inspired Lena Dunham Web Series

WASHINGTON—Saying the new effort would help them make critical inroads with low-income rural voters following a stunning election loss last week, the Democratic National Committee announced the launch of a new Hamilton-inspired web series Tuesday starring Lena Dunham intended to connect with working-class Americans and address their most pressing concerns. “We’re hoping to make up the ground we lost with white working-class voters and union members who once made up our base with a new 10-part hip-hop musical set in rural Wisconsin, featuring a down-on-her-luck manufacturing worker played by Lena Dunham,” said DNC interim chair Donna Brazile, who added that, in an effort to appeal to economically distressed voters, each episode would see the protagonists tackle a different theme, such as taxes or free trade, through the choreography of five-time Tony winner Susan Stroman. “We are confident that with the help of Josh Gad, Debra Messing, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and the creative team behind The Mindy Project, we can bring Americans who feel like they have been left behind by globalization back to the Democratic Party. Viewers will also have the chance to win a trip to be in the audience at a live TED Talk taping if they share the series on Instagram, which we believe will draw considerable interest across the nation’s heartland.” Brazile added that the web series would be available exclusively through Seeso and HBO Go.